Application To Go Out And Return Late

Name of Boyfriend/Fiancée/Husband:

I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below. Nor shall I speak to another female other than those listed without gaining verbal permission one hour beforehand. I will not turn off my mobile after two drinks, nor shall I consume the allocated volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi or ordering food. I understand that even if permission is granted, my girlfriend/fiancée/wife retains the right to not talk to me, for a minimum period of seven (7) days, for no valid reason what so ever.

Amount of alcohol allowed (units) (Please note: beer only)

Locations likely to be visited (Please note: 2 maximum)

Females likely to be encountered (note full details)

Strength of drinks permitted (%) (Please note: beer only)

I also hereby solemnly swear that:

1. I am a low life;
2. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it's not me;
3. I promise to abide by the rules & regulations as laid down by said highest authority;
4. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers;
5. Said highest authority reserves the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever wished to do so;
6. I hereby promise to sleep overnight on a park bench next to a tramp should I not return home by the time approved below;
7. I hereby promise to sleep on a park bench, next to a tramp, for a minimum of seven (7) nights, should I visit a Strip Club;
8. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with a person who only exists in my inebriated mind, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity;
9. I understand that the wardrobe, cupboard, washing-up basket, fridge and dishwasher are out of bounds with regards to relieving myself.

I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.

Request is APPROVED / TURNED DOWN

This decision is not open to negotiation other than on my terms.

Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time: